Expectation and the Mountain

In preparation for new experiences, our mind often creates mental images of what will occur in our lives. Tyler Leach, a second year mountain guide shares with us a great story of how this played out on his most recent trip.  

The high point of my trip suddenly became the low point. Our group arrived at our campsite, Minnesota Flats, ahead of schedule, which was early enough to fit in a rappel. I had never been able to give my participants a rappel on this route and I knew that these guys would love it! But now, here we were. I had just finished setting up the rappel system and now stood with my exhausted participants before me, scattered across the granite slope looking like beached jellyfish on a hot day. These were not young men ready for a rappelling adventure! More like young men ready for a nap somewhere out of the scorching sun. To say that they no longer seemed excited about the rappel was an abominable understatement.

My co-guide Daniel facilitated the first two participants as I eyed the waiting clump of exhausted jellyfish. My heart sank and my blood pressure rose. Anxiety and disappointment grew until the whole situation seemed unmanageable. I needed to let it out.

I plopped down next to one of the trip leaders, Blake. “Blake,” I said, “I’d really like for you to pray for me. Is that alright?”

Blake looked me up and down with a quizzical eye and then asked, “Yeah, sure. What’s up, T?”

“Blake, this rappel was supposed to be the highest of highs for these boys. I busted my butt getting over here to set up the rappel ahead of the group because I expected this would wow their socks off. Now look at them!”

He glanced over at the boys as one of them made a half-hearted attempt to swat at a fly that was circling near his open mouth. “They seem a bit tired,” Blake commented.

“This whole situation is demolishing their expectations for the trip and it’s making me really anxious.”

 “Well, how about I pray for you, Tyler?” Blake asked.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

As Blake spoke with God about my attitude, I began to relax and let go of my anxieties. After Blake finished he turned to me with a serious look in his eye. “You’re right that these fellahs are tired,” he said, “but this is still a good thing we’re doing. They’re going to be pleased that we did the rappel.” He paused as if weighing his words and then spoke. “Tyler, have you noticed how much your expectations of this trip control your attitude?”

I asked him to explain further. “Well,” he said, “You complained that this was not living up to the boys’ expectations. I don’t really think that’s true. They didn’t have any expectations of this rappel and for that reason I think they’re enjoying it no matter how tired they look. I think all of the expectations are coming from you and those expectations are killing this moment for you.”

I nodded slowly. “I think I see where you’re going with this, but keep talking.”

“Expectations aren’t always bad, Tyler, but they can be murderous when misapplied. I struggled with the same stuff when I was your age. I had very steep expectations for my life. I expected a lot out of God, my friends, and myself. When my experience didn’t fit those expectations I got pretty down, but that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was when something actually went as well as I expected it to, I wasn’t surprised or pleased: I merely felt like the outcome was “just okay” because it was what I expected anyway. Do you see what I mean?”

I nodded silently.

“Don’t hear me wrong here, Leach: expectations are important. Without basic expectations in my life, I don’t have a framework for getting what I need. But some of the finest times in life are destroyed because either they just barely reach our ridiculous expectations or we’re too put off about the things that didn’t happen to love those that did.”

There was a long, full stillness as I absorbed what Blake was teaching me. I watched Daniel methodically managing the ropes as I reminisced about several moments in recent memory where I felt similar to this experience with the rappel.

Blake punched me in the shoulder. “So knock it off, Leach! Ditch the expectations and be open to whatever God is choosing to give right now!”

I grinned as I stood up to go give Daniel a break as rappel facilitator. “You are a wise man, Blake. Maybe you should live at the top of this mountain in a tiny hut and tell young pilgrims the same things you just told me.”

“Whatever,” Blake grinned.

Blake is really onto something. Expectations can destroy great experiences. The mountains also have a tendency to destroy expectations. One of the young men on that trip called the mountain “The Great Equalizer” and I think he was wise to do so. When we claw and scrabble our way up the mountain’s rocky, snowy heights, we cannot keep our composure. One cannot stay on one’s own two feet when facing the mountain. It brings you to your hands and knees. The mountain must be faced on its own terms.

Similarly, when I come to the mountain, I must allow my expectations to slip away or the mountain will break them. The sun will not always shine. The ground may not always be firm. The people I am with will certainly offer challenges. But the mountain has more to offer than sunshine and easy relationships if I am humble enough to release my expectations and simply love what God gives.

 Tyler Leach                   

Ebb and Flow

Similar to a summer staff coordinator at a Young Life resident camp, Beyond Malibu has the opportunity to have people come and be on assignment at Base Camp. These individuals join into the community life with staff and help to nurture relationships with Christ and each other. Having people on assignment creates a steady presence in the midst of changing schedules and rotating guide staff. With this being said, I would like to introduce to you the Wright family. They come from Davis, California and have a strong investment in the Beyond Malibu way of life and community. 

Erica Wright with her husband Alex and their daughters

“What does the Lord require?” This is a question that plays in the back-ground of my mind once in awhile, usually when I have a quiet moment. Those quiet moments, however, don’t happen very often. As a Beyond alumni, a mother of two small girls, a wife, and a career person, I often work at maximum capacity just to keep pace with the day. To change from this fast paced lifestyle for a few weeks or even days is a rare experience. In contemplating what our family’s summer would look like, my husband and I chose to come back to the inlet to serve as “base camp family” for a few weeks, with hopes of reorienting ourselves to the rhythm of the Beyond community.

Just as the tide regularly draws water back to the inlet, so God’s spirit again brings myself and my family back to Beyond. We are fortunate to actually tread on the ground here when so many alumni only dream of it. Our family came to participate in community, serve those on staff who continually pour their energy into making this unique Young Life property run, as well as to bring to life for our children the beauty of God’s creation, both in nature and in His people.

When I was a guide, we had two base camp families, the Duykers and the Hardins. My years guiding coincided with Rob and Laurie Duyker having their third child, Ben. The Duyker boys and the Hardin kids were a source of great fun, entertainment and companionship. Laurie Duyker and Mary Hardin did double duty watching over the little (and not so little) ones, while investing in the lives of base camp and guide staff alike. Never would I have imagined that I would be back at Beyond with my own girls, 4-years-old Karis and Sophie-20 months, having the privilege of connecting with and praying for the staff in the same way as was displayed to me 14 years ago.

The tide flows in and the tide flows out. Those who choose Beyond choose to be shaped by God’s grace and love. They leave this place different because they have been on holy ground in the midst of a community that celebrates God’s mighty power to save and to transform. As my kids make crayon drawings and create butterflies out of the used TP rolls from the BIFFs (bathroom in forest floor), I am reminded that transformation is not a one-way street, but rather a give and take, similar to the tide that raises and lowers the dock. “What does the Lord require?” Beyond reminds me of my answer: be available to others, serve freely, be an investor in people, all the while allowing others to do those same things with me. Doing such allows me to participate in the transformational work I know God is doing in these mountains. Like the ever-present tide, God’s work is constant in this place and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of His work here at this time and, hopefully, again some time in the future.  

Erica Wright

 Video Credit: Brandon Sawaya

Metaphors in the Mountains

While the buzz of 10-Day is winding down, here is one of the many amazing experiences from the trip that has not quite settled. The guides are all talking about this "miracle" they witnessed. Miracle is the only way they could describe such an unreal phenomenon. They all passed around pictures from all different angles and proximities. Evan Blalock, the Sea Kayak Operations Manager this summer, saw a metaphor in the beauty of this "miracle".   

The idea of “home” has been something that I’ve contemplated often since the beginning of my time with Beyond Malibu. In the spring of 2012 I felt the tugging of a great adventure pulling me far from my native land of Arkansas. I felt sure that the beauty of the mountains and the sea awaiting me would far surpass my imagination. I felt sure that I would walk close with my God there. There is no doubt that the scenery has been far grander than I could have dreamed and that I’ve walked closer with Jesus than ever before in my young life. Like many, though, who have explored far and wide, I’ve begun to feel a yearning for a sense of rootedness; of belonging; of home. 

This summer I’ve returned to serve in leadership with Beyond’s sea kayaking program, but I jumped at the opportunity to head up the inlet for Mountain 10-Day training. Mid-week at Contact Lakes we gazed upon this amazing, yet perplexing site that called to mind another story of a forgotten home and the longing that its absence has created in the hearts of mankind. 

The withered tree in the middle of the circle reminds me of the tree of knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 3), misused in man’s sinfulness to bring death and pain into this world. The perfect circle was our perfect home of Eden, our perfect dwelling with God, and a oneness that was lost to Adam and Eve. I imagine the pain and longing they felt as they tried to make sense of what had happened and

                                                                                     wandered from Eden in                                                                                                  consequence of their rebellion.

Where I find great joy in this photo is in what lies outside of “Eden”. The cracks emanating from the circle looked much like a fruitful tree or, more pointedly, an abundant vine. It seemed to represent the Way that was graciously forged by the blood of Christ for all believers; another chance at oneness with God; a chance to have an abiding home once again in the True Vine, Jesus (John 15).

I’d be foolish to think that I’ve interpreted this incredible sight that we were blessed with, but I can say that it has had a great impact on me. The Lord used it to remind me of my rootedness in Christ and the joy of that abiding relationship we offer here at Beyond to all who are thirsty for their lost home with Yahweh. 

Evan Blalock

The 10-Day Experience

Being on Beyond staff can seem daunting to anyone whether as a base-camper or as a guide. And it’s so easy to individually focus on yourself: your own worries, your own stresses, and your own insecurities. It’s easy to become oblivious to the struggles of the other staff around camp. I know for myself that was my initial reaction after arriving at Beyond Malibu until I began asking staff if they wanted to contribute to the Beyond Blog. I got to hear reflections of experiences they’d had since arriving for the summer. Kate Kinsman made me realize I was not alone in feeling weighed down by my own baggage. I learned it wasn’t only Kate and myself who felt this way but that 27 other guides and 14 basecamp staff were experiencing these feelings with us. So I asked Kate, a first year mountain guide, to share her reflections from her first 10-Day trip.

The 10-day experience is often an intimidating one to first year guides like me. It’s the culmination of all that you’ve been anticipating and working for thus far: your first trip into these mountains that you’ll call home for two summers. The experience is simultaneously physically and mentally exhausting as well as joyous. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in your own neuroses and the way that your story is playing out in the moment. It’s so easy to forget that there are twenty-seven other people up there on that mountain with their own stories playing out. Each one has a story that God has specifically crafted and engineered in such a way that they’ve ended up here, battling their own insecurities through 10-day.

I came into 10-day with my own baggage. I had just endured one of the busiest seasons of my life and said a permanent goodbye to a lot of things that had been constants in my life for the past few years. I hadn’t had time to mentally or physically prepare for what I was about to undertake. In short, I came in not knowing if I was good enough for this task God have given me.

The hike up Chatterbox to Sun City was brutal. I had plenty of time to doubt why in the world I was doing this. When the rain started, I had the audacity to feel slightly miserable, despite the fact that I was cozied up in a fly while other groups were still making their way to Sun City. As they streamed into camp, God gave me my first reminder that I am not His only child. These poor children of His were wet, freezing, tired, and had had a much rougher go than I.

Kate on a rope team during a
recon on Mt. Albert

After that day, I made it a point to be attentive to the well being of my fellow guides. I was asked roughly six times a day how I was doing, and asked that question myself many more times. The challenge of 10-day left us all a bit raw, and I got very honest answers. I got a peek into the minds of many of the guides and how they were experiencing 10-day; I got a look into how many uniquely crafted stories were coming together to create this trip.

I remember very vividly the moment we got to Maury’s Mound. We’d just made it all the way from Contact Lakes and over Sun Peak, and my group came in after all the others. The evening sun was bathing the rocks and people were spread out all over the slabs, laughing and sore, and laying all their gear out to dry. I looked out over the rocks and saw so many stories that I had come to know. I had been focused on how my one little thread of life looked and felt, and where it was going, and I got a glimpse of the fact that God has specially made so many other threads that he is weaving alongside mine.

Somehow, through that, it all got easier. Looking at the summer before me, it doesn't matter if I am good enough or not; God is the weaver, not me. He keeps track of every thread and how each comes together in a specific and perfect way to create the most beautiful patterns, and I am already a part of this pattern.

                  Kate Kinsman

God placed each one of us at Beyond this summer. Our lives are intertwining each day we spend serving together. But if we keep our heads down looking at only our own lives, we miss out on what God has laid out in front of us. Kate’s experience with 10-Day gave me a wake up call to stop being consumed in my individual struggles and to instead look, listen, and experience life with the beautiful people living around me.

                                                                                                Brooke Silcox

Brooke, Becca, and Blogs

Hey! I’m Brooke Silcox, working on base camp staff at Beyond Malibu this summer season. I am from Napa, California, recently graduated from Sacramento State. This is not only my first time to Beyond but also my first time to Malibu… and my first time to Canada. You could say it’s a bit of a culture and a weather shift. I am working with the guest services team to promote Beyond this year. This blog has quickly become my adopted child. This is my first time blogging, so bear with me. In order to help this growing blog prosper, I thought, “A great idea would be interviewing someone who has been around Beyond for awhile. Becca Williams.”

      Becca just returned to base camp from her ninth 10-Day Training trip up Sun Peak. I wanted to know what kept Becca coming back each year. To answer this she felt it was necessary to explain her 10-Day experiences starting from her first year as a guide and leading up to the most recent trip as a Beyond trainer.

       When Becca first arrived at basecamp in 2006 she was in a mindset of “proving herself.” Each season the first trip in the mountains that guides participate in is called “The 10-Day”, an adventure with training, scenarios and team building exercises. All the guides are spilt into groups before they head into the mountains. The first group consisted of a mesh of the charismatic and funny people and the second

                           was filled with the cool confident studs She described her 10-Day group
                           as a hodge-podge of folks. A cluster of guides with little in common, not
                           sure where she fit in – comparing this group to the other two groups. In
                           turn, creating an emotion of feeling out of place throughout 10-Day.

Back in the day
Becca and camper - Kirsten
(now a first year guide)

       After this experience, Becca was sent out on her first trip as a guide with two 2^nd year guides on a route she thought had fewer challenges. She took this as an expression that the Guide Team Leaders (GTLs) didn’t have confidence in her mountain skills. Becca wanted to prove to everyone she knew what she was doing and could do it well. Unfortunately she didn’t feel like she was being given the opportunities to show it.  During her first trip guiding she was pushed to all her limits. Trying to prove herself. Trying to be the best. This was when she learned her first big Beyond lesson.  “Beyond requires everything from you. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. It is in the space that you are at your limits of yourself, doing the best you can and it’s still not enough, this is where the presence of God is as real as touching the surface of water.” Becca realized exactly what God was saying to her. - Service isn’t about what you want. - God wanted her to be fully extended so that she would rely on Him rather than on her own wits and confidence.     

       Now after her ninth 10-Day experience, Becca explains why she keeps coming back to Beyond. It isn’t just the great friends who proved to be more than a hodge-podge group of people. As Becca explains, no matter how many times up here, as leading trips in these Canadian mountains becomes second nature, she continues to be brought back to the same place: a front row seat to everything God is doing. She is challenged to a level that reaches human limits and must put full reliance and trust into God.

This being my first time at Beyond, I am still sitting in awe of the mountains around me, attempting to be productive in the midst of captivation. When I arrived here thinking I was fully prepared to do my job, God has reminded me that I can’t do this on my own. I am beginning to feel the pull as Beyond stretches me in many ways. After hearing from Becca’s experience, I know I am in for a whirlwind of experiences - in need of putting full reliance and trust into God.