From Daredevil to Courage-Taker

To illustrate the difference between my twin sister, Kaitlin, and me, I love to tell a simple story that encapsulates my adventurous spirit and her cautious desire to protect me. One day, Kaitlin, my dad and I were hiking in a neighborhood park, and as I climbed onto a fallen tree to cross the creek, my sister, Kaitlin, anxiously yelled after me to stop. I boldly turned and replied, “I’m a daredevil. You’ll just have to get used to it.” Whether she has liked it or not, that’s exactly what has happened as she’s watched me adventure from one opportunity to the next since our adventures in the park. The most recent “daredevil” move- coming to Beyond Malibu to guide mountain trips- has taken me far from home, but has brought me close to kindred spirits who have willingly embarked on this latest adventure too.

Despite her apprehension at times, to my delight, my sister has grown to accept and support me as I travel. However, if Kaitlin were to reach out to stop me now, I think the insight I’ve gained during my time here would elicit a much different response than that of my childhood self. You see, over the past several weeks, I’ve come to view what it means to be a daredevil in a very different way.

To my eight-year-old self, being a daredevil meant doing things that might be scary to others but weren’t scary to me. After seven weeks of trips with participants and two training trips with guides across two summers, I’ve witnessed plenty of people doing things that scared them; things like crossing glaciers, climbing over ridges, scaling up root ladders, and walking for hours with a heavy pack on. My question about these participants, guides, and at times, myself, is this:  are all of us excluded from the title of daredevil while doing these epic things on trail just because we’ve experienced fear? If we are excluded, is the loss of such a title really something to stress over?

My last year and a half at Beyond has taught me many things, but one lesson that has most recently taken root is centered around the topic of fear. When I was younger, I viewed fear as this negative feeling to be avoided at all costs. Even in scripture we are commanded not to fear. However, there’s a difference I was missing. Scripture doesn’t tell us not to fear because we should never experience fear. Rather, scripture assures us that we do not need to let fear rule over us, because our God is near and will lift us up despite our fears. During two of my trips this summer, some participants encountered new terrain that scared them- lots of snow, icy slopes, root ladders, etc., but upon each encounter a unique opportunity was presented: remain immobilized by fear or press on with God’s peace in view. Fear would have us believe that moving forward is not an option, whereas truth beckons us forward. The choice is this: allow the hand of fear to be your master or force fear to submit to the hand of God by reaching out to Him for the strength and willingness to press on. In choosing the latter, we create a space to allow God to care for us and to protect us. In my old way of thinking, fear was limiting and weak. In my new way of thought, fear is just another place for the Lord to step in and pull me forward by the strength of his hand.

“I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped 

me.” Psalm 118:13

The reality of these words, and the sincere comfort they bring, takes on a deep importance when it can be translated literally to the mountains. But the truth is, we were not made for the mountains. We were made for the valleys where the truths learned in the mountains may take root.

The once cherished daredevil title, held dearly by my childhood self for its sense of adventure and excitement, has now been rewritten to a much stronger, worthwhile title: courage-taker. During the next step into post-graduate life, I may now proceed with confidence. Though I feel fear, I may turn my eyes to the Lord,

“In God, I trust and am not afraid… for you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the light of life.” Psalm 56:11,13

With the same confidence, participants may walk forward in courage and truth as they encounter new terrain and as they transition home following their mountain-top experiences. Now the question is, what about you? Are you striving for the daredevil title too, clinging to the idea that you have something to prove as you force away fear on your own accord, or are you embracing a new identity, courage-taker, by the grace of God’s hand outstretched to you?

-Lauren Bonney