After a three-and-a-half hour plane ride, five hours of driving in a packed mini-van, a ferry ride crossing Horseshoe Bay, and the windy roads of the Sunshine Coast Highway, Dylan and his small group from Wasilla, Alaska finally arrived at Beyond Malibu for a seven-day Sea Kayaking adventure.
From the onset, Dylan appeared to be quiet and reserved, yet silently analyzing and evaluating each aspect and step of the details of our trip. Throughout the first day in Egmont while we learned paddle strokes, wet exits, equipment care, and packing fundamentals, Dylan began to reveal his curious, honest, and real personality. It screamed authenticity!
We ended the evening with me sharing my life story with the group on the dock while watching the sunset marry the bright red, yellow, and orange hues beyond the mountain line. Afterwards, Dylan promptly asked me some very intense and candid questions: “How did you handle the emotional stress of your relationship loss? How is your heart not burning with hate and anger over the way you’ve been treated? Have you been able to reconcile and recover any of the relationships in your life that left you with a bitter, sour taste in your mouth?” Dylan was curious why my life didn’t seem to fit into an easily understandable package.
Something inside Dylan was crying out to find answers. By the end of our third day together, he and I were talking through deep theological and social issues; we were exploring the very intricate topics of science- evolution, the Big Bang, etc.; we talked about the Bible and where it came from, its origin, its meaning, who Jesus is and why, and overall, what the Bible is asking of us as followers and listeners of Jesus.
I remember standing in the sand at the beach of our Potato Creek campsite, water up to our calves, 85 degree sun beaming down on us, waves crashing against our legs, we were both lost in conversation as we talked for hours about how science and Jesus can coexist, how Dylan’s understanding and wonder is okay; that questions and doubts are not the absence of faith, but working through and attempting to find clarity and not giving up is the definition of faith.
After reaching Base Camp (the Sea Kayak trip’s “summit”), my guide partner and I sent all fourteen participants on their “solo” (simply a time to reflect on the trip, content, and life in general). Each camper left with a Bible, journal, a letter sent to them from a parent or loved one, and a water-bottle filed to the rim. Five hours later, I had the great opportunity to meet Dylan and hear what, if anything, happened in his heart during his time alone.
What he shared brought tears to my eyes, something so close to my heart, something I’ve had to own and realize in the last few years myself, something so real and true, so magnificent. Dylan looked to me and said,
“I finally feel it’s okay to wonder, it’s alright to question, and it’s beneficial to seek to understand truth, to wade through the swamp of unknowns in the Christian faith. I don’t feel scared anymore. Eric, you’ve shown me that I don’t have to earn the love of God; I don’t have to be afraid to battle the questions- God isn’t going to turn his back on me if I ask them; there is nothing I can do to earn or lose the love of God. I feel my life is going to be moving towards something very different when I get home.”
I’ve never been so powerfully affected like I was that hot mid-summer afternoon. If God speaks, He spoke very clearly to Dylan and to me that day. I left with an ever-increasing excitement to continue navigating life’s questions with young adults like Dylan. I saw how Beyond Malibu can act as a catalyst for growth and understanding; Beyond allows kids to get away from the routine and fast-paced lifestyle at home to slow down and wonder… wonder about the mountains, the inlets, the flowers, the truth, one’s self, and the world that surrounds us all.
There was much wonder on my trip with Dylan. At the end of our week together, during what we call an Affirmation Circle (where each participant, if s/he wishes, can affirm the very beautiful and unique things they observed in their friends during the week) Dylan said to me something that will stand boldly in my heart forever,
“Eric, I understand we’ve only spent one week together, but I want you to know that through our conversations and the obvious honesty, vulnerability, and authenticity we’ve created together this week, I’ve grown to love you, man. This has been a trip I’ll never forget. Thank you.”
Beyond Malibu Summer 2009 left me, as a staff member, deeply impacted and with a clearer picture of how we can walk beside young men and women through the maze of questions and wonder that often arises in teenage years (and beyond), and if unaddressed, can demolish our faith foundation and leave us holding confusion, uneasiness, and suspicion.
Beyond breaks down the walls that many young men and women have built over their lifetime, providing an atmosphere for honesty, vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency so we can work together, united in our cause, to become more ourselves in a world that is constantly telling us to be something we are not.
Go Beyond… it may just change the trajectory of your life.
Eric Mann - Sea Kayak Guide 2008-2009
