Wild and Free

Here I am, back at Beyond, the place I call home. After 3 years of guiding trips up and down these steep mountains, I am overcome with joy each time I see campers get off the boat and step onto the dock for the first time- clean hair, dry cotton clothes, with anxiousness and anticipation in their eyes. It’s a wonderful thing to contrast with Friday afternoons, when campers get back from their trips with dirty hair, sun on their cheeks, and an inexpressible and glorious joy in their hearts. If you’ve seen this before, you know what I’m talking about. “Beautiful,” I tell myself, “They are SO beautiful.” 

I have a vivid memory during my first summer of guiding in 2013 that I will never forget. It was 5:30 on a Saturday morning, when I looked at the friends in my guide class and said, “For the first time in my life, I feel beautiful.” It was a huge milestone for me as a woman and mountain guide. I had spent years comparing myself to others and believing that I would never be good enough, strong enough, or pretty enough- a theme I see in many participants’ lives. 

What is it about Beyond that makes us feel beautiful and free? Why is it that a camper can tell me after her trip that she has never felt more beautiful?! Surely it can’t be the “mountain funk” we obtain throughout a week in the mountains. Rather, it’s when we are stripped emotionally, physically, and spiritually (doesn’t that sound easy!). My mind continues to be blown away as I hear life story after life story from participants from all across the country- stories of broken families, addictions, pain, and sorrow. Like fragile jars of clay, we are all covered in cracks and imperfections, but when we allow Christ to fill us up, He shines through the cracks- and THAT is beautiful.

Guiding at Beyond has continued to remind me that God did not send his Son to die so that we would be hard on ourselves, feeling ugly in our brokenness. No! Christ died so that we could be free! So, whether it’s bathing in the ocean with my loofa and biodegradable soap, letting my big curly hair reach its maximum frizz, or allowing myself to become vulnerable, leading out of weakness and letting God work through my brokenness, I am forever grateful for the simple truth that God has reminded me for 3 summers: We are beautiful and free because of Christ. 

Blaire Tocher